RazorBlade Romance
by Faded-Days and LipGlossBlack
Summary: A simple accident sprarks tragedy, with the titans pull through? BB X RA RO X SF
1. Tragedy

RazorBlade Romance

By:FadedDays

Disclaimer!

This has been reposted due to the fact that some Timmy tight pants thought I swore too much

Don't worry this has been "edited"

I don't own anything!

The song is Sigillum Diaboli by H.I.M.

WARNING: CONTAINS SOME SELF MUTILATION

Razorblade Romance

CRASH

"I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN BEAST BOY" a raging voice screams at me. Tears welp in my eyes… it's not my fault that I'm clumsy, why couldn't she wait and see that I was sorry? Too late now though… I rush to my room…everythings a blur…my door slams…I don't care anymore…my life is over.. she hates me…I stare at her picture on my wall…. Those deep sad eyes….. I never wanted to hurt them…

………..I can't see as I'm facing your pitiful lies……………. Don't have the strength to carry your heavy load of life……………… I'm your christ to die on you…………………. I just woke up for hers and you know it as well as I do……….

I want to be there for her ….but …I just can't…everytime she comes near I tense up and act stupid….so stupid!…GOD!!…WHY AM I SO STUPID?!

……………..I can't see through your eyes, …..bring your tears on me I will live the body for your shoulder just have to killing ………..I'm your christ to die on you………. I just woke up for hers and you know it as well as I do………….

Her heavenly body is just too much for me to bear….I can't stand to look at her anymore without urning to touch, to love and to hold….. I open my eyes and move to my dresser…I open it up and sift through the pile of worth less skins of fabric for my only release….my silver blade….

…..Oh, so you've come from above and you say you want to….. and I cut myself for your love….. I'm killing myself for you…….., yes you………

The pain…..the oh so familiar scent of my own blood…..WHY?………….why CANT SHE SEE ME FOR WHO I REALLY AM?………my vision begins to blur…..getting….cold…NO!…..I'm NOT DONE YET………..I….I…CANT DIE NOW…..too weak….too late….too stupid….I'm dying now…..

…………I can't see as I face your pitiful lies…………… Don't have the strength to carry your heavy load of life……………… I'm your christ to die on you ……………I just woke up for hers and you know it as well as I do………….

Ugh…..I'm….barely hanging on now….so…cold…. I can't see anymore….I'm…just…cold….oh god so cold…… Knocking at my door…..Death?…..here?…so soon?………..fine……at least……I'm …..dying for a purpose…….no…..not a purpose……a person……no…..a love……Raven………

"OH MY GOD NO! PLEASE GOD NO!! PLEASE BEAST BOY WAKE UP!"

…………………………………..Angels never looked so beautiful……….why…so…cold..?……………

"BEAST BOY PLEASE WAKE UP!! I'M SORRY!!! OH GOD I'M SORRY!! I LOVE YOU BEAST BOY DON'T DIE ON ME!!!!"

……………..you know as well as I do………………………………………………………………………...

……………………………………Yes you do Yes you do, my Darling Yes you do..oh Yes you do, oh my Love…………………


	2. Burnt Numb

Disclaimer!: Don't mess with me or I'll mess with your mind!

Chapter two: Burnt numb

ROBIN

It's been two days since he did it, but I still can't understand why…ugh…This shit is taking a pretty heavy toll on the whole team. Raven hasn't gotten up from BB's bed-side, she just keeps holding his hand and murmuring things I can't understand while she just stairs at him and strokes his hair. She's not even responding to us anymore, it's not really even us either, Cyborg stormed off and Starfire can't even cope with it, she hasn't left the infirmary either, she just sits on her chair and weeps. I fear for all their sanity and mine too. I 'm the only one who sleeps now….but even then it's not sleeping ….nightmares…so…so..many..freaking…nightmares… I can hardly stand it anymore….

The cold water hit my face…but I can't feel it anymore…. Over these two..da…no… years it feels like..I've grown numb… why did he have to do that! WHY! Christ! I hate when things like this RUIN MY LIFE…. I was so close to telling her! I LOVE HER God damn it! I'm so fucking pissed!….. Ok Robin take a breath it's no one's fault.. it's just… I'm ..soo.. numb I can't STAND IT!!!! …Must…feel…..I WILL FEEL…………

……Success! OHH it feels so good!…. It hurts but feels so good at the same time…..bitter sweet….yes… that's what this is….heh… it's ironic, Beast Boy does it to die, I do it to live… ...what a joke….

………Getting out of the shower never felt like such a chore. I almost let it go on for too long.. and that's something that I will never let happen again, to me , Beastboy, or anyone else. We are here to save lives not take our own. I'm going to fix this….or I'm taking everybody with me….but that will be for another day.. right now I gota get this patched up and covered so that no one else see these… it's the last thing anyone needs to see…


	3. Cracks in the mask

Chapter Three: Cracks in the mask

STARFIRE

Why can't things be the way they were before? Why did he do that? Why would anyone do that? Why would anyone try to take their own precious life? I can't begin to understand what happined or why it happined but I do know that something is very wrong and it hurts me that no one will tell me what happined. Robin is angry, Raven is unstable, Cyborg is missing, and BeastBoy…. Oh god…. I don't understand….. my body is aching as waves of sorrow crash against my body…I realize how lost and oblivious I am to this world… I though I finally belonged….. but I was mistaken…I can barely..take it anymore…I feel weak and powerless..my friends are hurting and I can't do a single thing but sit here and leak tears of sadness for our friend….

I've allways tried to keep optomistic..even when I don't quiet understand the ways of this stange place.. I tried my best to smile but sometimes smiles just can't balance out…I can't stand it….I've slumped in this chair long enough… I have to do something or everone is going to go crazy…. Think Star think!… What can I do…I know! I'll make Raven her favorite tea!..or at least I'll try… but what about Robin….wow… After all this time I did't notice he's bein in the shower all day… I hope for the best that he is ok… what can I do for him… I…I love him so…but ..I just can't express it to him.. I don't know why…it hurts me to see him this angry…oh god…what can I do!…I'm so confused!….I'm starting to tear up again!…. Breath Star! ….in..out…in…out…in…out…. much better…I have got to get control of my self…ok…phew….Big Smile…Big smile and happiness…

After I get Raven her tea, I'll check on Robin and see if he needs anything…..anthing……….

Then…I'll try to find Cyborg, I have no idea where he went but this isn't right, he needs to be with us, his family….


	4. Self Repair

Chapter 4: Self repair

Cyborg

Bastard! Why did he do it…RAGHHH!!! I can't stand this! That was one of the most foolish things I've ever seen him do…Christ I'm so mad my body temp is off scale…. God I gotta punch something…

……ugh that was harder than I thought….CHRIST my knuckles are bleeding! Ok Cy calm down…count to ten…1…..2….10!!! No!! …Breath in..Breath out….Relax..Cy..Relax…. man I've never been so mad in my entire life….. 'Comon man get your self together…ah good.. my body temp is going down. All most did some damage this time. I really gota watch my temper. Now that I think about it, I picked on beast boy the whole day. Maybe that put him down pretty far.God if I had only known.. I need to work on when it's time to drop things and forget about it…

Wha?! What's that ringing?

The communicator!

Hey it's starfire… she's finally stopped crying.. I wonder what she wants…

Wow…. I haven't realized how selfish I've been..running away when my team needs me the most… so cowardly… I gotta fix this.. all of this.. but first I need to fix myself.. and then it's a clean slate, starting from scratch… we've grown too far apart… Beast Boy… I'm sorry…


	5. Raven's War

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Chapter 5: Raven's War

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Raven

It all started with a simple accident…my mother's tea cup…anger…thoughtless words were said…I never thought they would be the last straw, the final strike, the death blow…I never meant it..but god…I was so angry…I don't even remember what I did after he ran to his room….GOD DAMN IT……WHY?!.. WHY DID HE DO SOMETHING SO IGNORANT AND SELFISH?! HE FREAKING WELL KNOWS I LOVE HIM!!….there I go again…I can't help it…sitting here stroking his hair….I can't stop thinking about it…the stab in my heart when I saw him…..lying there…bloody..pale…shaking..crying…it won't stop playing in my head……over and over again…..

CRASH!!!

…….I think about it know…it's stupid…I don't need a freaking piece of porcelain to remember my mother….

"I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN BEAST BOY"

….why? Of all the things I could of said…done… I had to get angry and say that… the minute the words left my mouth…I regretted it….I knew I had done damage when I saw the light leave his eyes and tears replace it….but I didn't think at the time the damage was so great…..I never could of guessed how wrong I was…

….After I blew off some steam, I went to go apologize….. I knew from the minute I got to his door something was amiss.. he never plays his music aloud… I never knew he liked H.I.M…. I knocked…no answer…I figured he couldn't hear me…so I opened his door…..

……..oh god here it comes again……the wave….my eyes..my vision…my muscles….breaking……………….. breathe…just….ohgoddamnit…….darkness……all…I can hear is a heart beat….slowing……

BREATHE!!

SCREW YOU I WANT TO DIE!!!

NEVER!! I WILL NOT CEASE TO EXCIST!!

BULLSHIT! YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO HE'S DEAD!! YOU WANT TO DIE!!

NO!!! HE IS ALIVE I FEEL HIM BREATHING!! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!

I AM YOU!!!

THE HELL YOU ARE!!

YOU CAN NOT DENY IT!! YOUR HEART IS SLOWLY CREEPING TO A STOP AS WE SPEAK!! I AM ALWAYS GOING TO BE YOU!!

NO!! I WILL NOT FAIL!! I'VE FAILED BEASTBOY BUT I WILL NOT EVER FAIL HIM AGAIN!! I AM NOT GOING TO FREAKING DIE AND YOU ARE GOING LEAVE TO ME ALONE AND NEVER BOTHER ME AGAIN!! DO YOU FREAKING UNDERSTAND ME?

I FKING LOVE BEASTBOY AND I WILL NEVER HURT HIM AGAIN!! EVER!! NOT EVEN AFTER OUR BODIES TURN TO WORM WOOD!!

FREAKING ANSWER ME YOU FAGGOT PIECE OF SHIT ON THE GROUND!!!!

…...Silence…

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

….the heartbeat skips…a breath…it speeds up…

I'm falling…falling again…my senses have returned…I can feel his hair…why am I warm? A blanket? Who?…. starfire's gone….she shouldn't of…..I should thank her…..my legs….why can't I feel my legs?!..

"OH MY GOD NO!PLEASE GOD NO!! PLEASE BEAST BOY WAKE UP!"

no…it's coming back…why is my mind torturing me?… Is it against me?…

"BEAST BOY PLEASE WAKE UP!! I'M SORRY!!! OH GOD I'M SORRY!! I LOVE YOU BEAST BOY DON'T DIE ON ME!!!!"

well here it is…. The scene where I find him.. lying there…in his own blood, crying, shaking, and bleeding…. A mere shadow of the strong ,humorous boy I love so much…. How many times have I seen this?…over and over again it's stuck on a mental loop… Am I doomed to see this over and over again?… Am I trying to tell my self something? I mean I'm feeling better after getting it off my chest…. wait…I remember… my psychology books…what was it… coping?…I think that's it…it's my mind trying to patch it's self up… god… I should of known it! HA!..

….What's this?…

..my legs…. I can.. feel my legs…am I getting better?….I'm not really sure… but god damn.. I am exhausted….My eye lids feel like anvils…

"Beastboy you better wake up soon damn you…"

...ugh… my vision's going….look's like I'm going to sleep weather I like it or not….

I just hope for once…I can dream a happy dream…

….darkness……

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx


	6. Self Actualization and a date?

Robin

Damn that hurts, no way in hell I'm ever going to do that again…. In fact, where the hell is that damn blade.. there it is ….into the trash you go…

Knock Knock

"Robin?" a timid voice asks "Are you ok? You have been in there for awhile.."

holy shit, I'm must of dazed out…. I guess I lost a lot more blood than I thought…what should I say?

Don't worry star! I'm peachy! Just sitting in here hacking away at my arm!… yeah that's not looking too good.. better say something or she's going to open that door..think…shit…I'm blanking…

"Robin?"

"Yeah I'm here. What is it?' I snapped nervously

"Sorry, I got worried" she replied with rejection

Damn it! Great now I'm sounding like an ass.. at least she stopped crying…I should try to brighten her mood…. I know! I'll take her to the restaurant she always talks about! That's should do it… But first I have to get her away from the door and cover up these bandages… a long sleeve shirt should do it... Ok here it goes…

"Starfire?"

…Silence… damn! Did I tell her off?

"Yes Robin?" ah! Good!

"um.. yeah… Star… how about you and I go to 7th Heaven …. together?" I stuttered

"Why Robin I would love to do that!" YES! "But what about the others?" oh crap… I completely forgot them for a tick…wait I got it!

"How about we leave a note for Raven if she gets up, and a note for cyborg in-case he comes home?"

"But what about Beastboy?" she replied.

Ummm.. that's a thinker…I think if I hook up an IV he should be fine since he finally stabilized nothing wrong will happen.

"I'll take care of him star" I responded "Is Raven awake?"

"No, she was asleep when I went to check on her"

Good, she was really starting to worry me.

"Ok then go get ready, I'll meet you in the kitchen."

"OK Robin! I'll be ready soon!" she chirped.

Good maybe finally… I can really tell her how I feel….

"Don't count on it" a voice hollowed

…….yeah I know, but hey tonight might be the night…wait minute…. Why the hell am I talking to my self?

"Beats the hell out of me.."

Man I have got to get out more…

"Yeah you sure do.."

ok that's enough shut up…

"Make me"

SHUTUP! Your really starting to piss me off!

"Oh really?" the voice smirked " Quit being a Shitty leader and Get your self together… A good leader doesn't argue with him self and lurch around cutting him self does he?"

well… I….

"The answer is no Robin, you know that…. Now get your shit together " the mans voice echoed inside my head.

Bruce?….That was Bruce…… go figure….man… I'm screwed up…. You know what? We're all screwed…. And now It's time to stop being a wussie, face the music and be the leader of this screwed up team God damn it . If we're going to get anything accomplished we have got to fix this problem. Right after this much needed date with this Tamerainian, I'm finding Cyborg, cheering up Raven and freaking get BeastBoy to wake up. I've wasted too much time with my self. I need to be a good leader and consider others first. But enough with this self actualization shit, I have a angel waiting for me.

_Starfire_

Thank goodness Robin's ok. I was really worried that he was going to do what Beastboy did. Although I don't under stand the act of cutting of one's self, perhaps it releases sadness… maybe I'll ask Robin that.. when we go out… I'm soo excited…. He's never asked me out on a "date" before…. What article of clothing should I wear? Maybe something that is "eye-catching" hmm… so many decsions….

…Ah! Perfect!.. I am soo excited.. I hope I look attactive to him…. he is my everyday,my everything.. I MUST look attactive to him tonight this could be my only chance to tell him how I truly feel… hmm should I try on some of this "make-up" ….hmm…no nevr mind that I do not have enough time for such rituals… a quick washing of the face will have to suffice.

…ok I feel as though I am ready as I will ever be,….. here goes nothing…


	7. Snorkel

Finaly! Sorry about htis guys but I got band for too many swear words and had to re-post. A new chapter for this should be coming out later on tonight. FD


End file.
